Forgot to take Lamictal yesterday (I took my other meds). Holy Hell, I took my dose today (on schedule) and I STILL feel awful!! I've only been on 100mg....I thought Lamictal had a super-long half-life? Yesterday went like this:
10am - up, had breakfast
11am – slight Brain “swishes” started (was out the entire day)
12pm – Stronger Brain zaps start
1:30pm – Lunch (meat, salad/veg)
2:30pm – Sudden extreme exhaustion
4pm - more brain zaps => ZAP ZAP ZAP! 🤯
7pm - Irritability starts
11pm – Tea, bedtime, could not fall asleep (I haven't had insomnia in 2+ years)
...Night sweats…Restless legs.....
12am – Ruminations, feel weepy
..Insomnia ensues…(Toss & turn, sweaty/achey all night)
It's now 12pm,and I am STILL having brain zaps! I worry I’ll never be able ever taper, switch from, or withdraw from this med. You probably think well, with MI, WHY would you ever go off it? For me, longterm, these meds are band-aids. There is always a price. Ok, maybe great at preventing acute/severe depression, but as a result, they rob me of any spark, joy, elation, happiness, libido, sexual sensation/response, feelings of reward, love.... This disturbs me. I used to know what positive emotions felt like…
So I’m stable, existing.....but still lacking will or any interest in living....
Good God, my habitual oversleeping is worsening.....I literally cannot get up before 11am. I know this is probably due to the fact that yes, I'm depressed and do not have anything of purpose at the moment to wake up for.....PLUS winter weather that's dark as Hell.....PLUS on a stupid stimulant break, until I can get in to see pdoc in 5 days.
Are there any other tactics you've used?? I'm going to bed same time every night (by 11pm). I sleep really well entire night. WTF.
I tried a sunlamp thing in the past and it made me headachey & irritable. Even when I go for walks during the day, it doesn't help.
Starting this thread because boredom, idleness, lack of stimulation is often a key trigger of depression and bad habits. When I get bored, I feel an emptiness, uselessness and physical/mental lethargy, cue ruminations, then I sleep excessively. This isn't always fatigue: It's an automatic (and very negative) avoidance behavior.
This link lists 150 ideas (from high effort to minimal effort - from "fun" to mundane) in order to build healthier habits. I need to stop waiting to "feel good" before taking any action. Any thoughts?
Journaled, Cleaned my desktop, Backed up computer, unsubscribed to some junk email, Did some stretching, called a relative, dealt with an admin issue, read some blogs about depression, provided some words of support/appreciation for someone.