It's my 3rd time now that I've cut myself intentionally. I sliced my wrist at school and a teacher saw it. I did it to try to cope with my feelings of self hatred. I then had to see my school counselor after he saw me do it. It was kinda a bittersweet meeting. I cried a little after I got back to class but noone saw as I didn't weep and only shed 2 tears. I still can't believe I relapsed. I feel guility.
Respectful greetings, fellow crazies.
I've recently ramped-up on Wellbutrin: 150mg for 6 days and then 300mg for 12 days (18 days total). Overall it's slightly helping the multitude of mental illnesses I have (TRD, "Pure" OCD, other stuff).
However. About 7 days after hitting 300mg Wellbutrin I started experiencing incredibly intense anxiety primarily (physically shaking, gut-churning, mind-racing, skin-crawling kind). I also started feeling erratic, intense irritability and even anger - (verbally) lashing out at my kids and other unpleasant out-of-character behaviour.
I've seen anxiety from Wellbutrin reported 100's of times before but I couldn't find information on how to combat it. This is because normally people just stop taking it (which makes eminent sense) but that's not an option for me since I'm 23 years TRD (including resistance to ECT, dTMS and Ketamine) and this is one of the last combos left. In other words I'm beyond desperate to give it every chance of working that I humanly can.
I'm now gonna blurt out my questions and suggestions and hope that some of you can identify or comment from your own experience:
I have some Valium left over and taking that does take the edge off of the severe emotions. However taking benzo's long-term is generally undesirable, hence has anyone taken a non-benzo adjunct/augmenting med that actually helps tone down the insane anxiety? If so, what was it? how long did the intense anxiety last for those who experienced it? 2 weeks? a month? until you stopped the med? did anyone have success in simply reducing dose back to 150mg or even lower? Did you find 150mg sufficient to lift your mood? I'm on 300mg XL as of today (was on 2x150mg XL 'til now). Have folks had different experiences (anxiety-wise) with the IR or SR versions? E.g. would switching to 3xIR be an avenue worth chasing? any other relevant insights or experiences would also be most welcome. May the Gods of mental health be with you,
So I suffer from split thinking quite a lot. People are good, or they're bad. No in between. And when they're bad, I go apeshit crazy. Fuckin mad episodes of rage.
For those with BPD (or any of the cluster B personalities), how do you control your anger/impulses when your emotions skyrocket?
I am currently on 300 mg of seroquel for bipolar II (mainly depression) and 300 mg Lyrica for anxiety. I want to come off the Lyrica because I think it might be causing rage and it always seems to happen after my morning dose of 150 mg Lyrica, and 100 mg of Seroquel. I take 150mg of Lyrica at 9am and then again at 5pm. My Seroquel is taken at 100 mg at 9am and 200 mg at 9pm. It is Extended Release. The Lyrica is in capsule form.
Any thoughts? I am smallish 44 yo woman.