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Bipolar irritability/rage


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Okay. I am involved in a lot of self-blame and I firmly believe I'm the worst piece of crap for losing control when in reality I wish I was as calm as a budhist monk and as cheery as Mary Poppins. Not a happy place. Oh, I know I shouldn't so no use telling me that. I still feel that way.

But maybe (dare  I hope?) there is a solution.

I have my ups and downs (hehehe), but irritablity/crankiness/rage/screaming fits/bitchiness etc etc is a major, major problem for me. Why? cuz I have two innocent kids who don't deserve to be yelled at over the proverbial spilled milk. And cuz, it's a symptom I get whether I am up OR down...I don't get "nice" mania, and I get a lot of mixed states.

Doc and I are still working in getting all the symptoms under control, but I'm very med-sensitive and we haven't found a "sweet spot" I can tolerate yet. It may take years for what I know. So I need a way to deal with this now.

So, how do others BPs get those rages under control?

Things I have tried:

-I shut myself up in my room (aka time out). This is my first line of defense, and it works fairly well. Except that eventually you have to come out to make dinner, send them to school, etc etc etc. Incidentaly, that is when they tend to be in the way or slow or whatever, making it even more likely I will snap. And I am single, so getting Daddy to help is not an option.

-Tried the long baths (no help), long walks (they hate me for it, because they have to come along).

-I even tried taking clonazepam (which is prescribed prn), thinking it will mellow me out. And maybe it would if I took 2 or 3 mg; I would also fall asleep. At the prescribed dose (.5 to 1 mg), it does not help.

So, suggestions? Meds, techniques, anything??? HELP!

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I took a leaf out of the BPD book: DBT (Linehan and all that) is not exactly rocket science and it really works for me.

Here's the bluffer's guide to DBT:

Someone/thing just pissed you off. Like you got carved up in traffic by some asshat. Your immediate response - they did it deliberately to get at you and you should go and rip their frickin' head off.

Stop and think. Think of the exact opposite possible meaning.

Maybe they didn't even notice you: they're in a god awful rush because they just heard their kid was knocked down by a car and they're on the way to the ER.

Reality is probably somewhere in between, but you bought yourself 5 seconds of breathing/thinking time, and now it's much harder to lash out.

OK, so that'll be $300. Please make an appointment to come back for another session in two weeks' time...

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I have been totaly out of control all day--picked fights with drivers in trraffic, and even a couple of people at the LIBRARY of all places.  I am completely off the charts.  Got furious at work, threw things, wrote nasty e-mails (NEVER a good idea--ug)  I will either get fired or quit my job--its coming down to that/.

I need a time out, so I came home from work.  I like the trying to think of the opposite meaning--I'll try, but I am not opptomistic. 

Forgive me. but I am just too crazy today==

china, the formerly stable

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Have you tried an AP?  I know zyprexa & risperdal have worked for me.

I get so wound up that self calming techniques don't even occur to me at

the time.  I find that locking myself in the bathroom helps and the kids

don't hear me screaming due to the fan.

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Can't take ANY of the atypical AP's--give me very ugly side effects like tardive dyskensia, and other EPS stuff. So stuck with the old timey stuff like Tegretol.

Jesus, I am so tired of all this, I mean exhausted to my bones--when you crash from this kind of cycle, I never really thought about it, but its like pulling the plug, and my body just wants to collapse and sleep and never move again.

I am tired of being broken, being sick--I have several other "chronic" physical problems--and tired of being me.  I am a walking disaster area.

china, the whiney

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When i feel that way, i break out the meditation or the hypnosis CDs. That usually works. I believe strongly in mind over body. I believe I can control my mind, to a certain extent, by these methods. They don't always work, or work well enough to not need meds, but they're good tools to help in the fight.

a part of your problem could be hormones, i discovered this recently when i went off of the Pill for the first time in years and found myself in the worst mixed episode from hell. More time alone, without worrying about if your kids are behaving or not, may also help.

being a single mom must be so hard. give yourself a break. you're crazy, and doing something that gives even "normal" people mental issues.

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I am ssuper rageful and crazy today too, though it's been building for a few days.  I had serious road rage today...to make it worse the guy in the other car is someone I know.

I want to die today.  I actually want to do something violent to a family member so instead I want to die. 

I am not safe so I am trying to lock myself in the house.  how lo9ng will this go on?

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I find that locking myself in the bathroom helps and the kids

don't hear me screaming due to the fan.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

LOL!!! You reminded me...

My fan does not work so during this awful screaming/crying spell I get in the bath, fill it, then take the plug out and run the water simultaneously to make enough noise to cover up my sobbing...awww, crazy shit

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When i feel that way, i break out the meditation or the hypnosis CDs.

being a single mom must be so hard. give yourself a break. you're crazy, and doing something that gives even "normal" people mental issues.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Never heard of hypnosis CD's but will check it out, thanks. Sounds a bit stronger than meditation, which I often tried but can't seem to concentrate...

Yeah...I do, you know, realize that single motherhood is pretty much the worst situation for a loony BP, especially with no extended family and not enough money.

Did I mention I'm also in fourth year university?

Arrrg, woe is me...

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OK, so that'll be $300. Please make an appointment to come back for another session in two weeks' time...

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

HAHAHA...good one. You migth as well get in line...I owe about $30,000 and have 5 various appointments in the nest two weeks

;)

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I went no-holds-barred the last time I had significant bipolar rage (which would be in November) - this involved usage of a 4-letter word starting with the letter C to describe someone who was full of sand.  Literally, I used this word as every third term when I spoke with my roommates. 

I also went screaming at (or more accurately, to) my parents after a certain event involving Ms. Sandy.

I also screamed to them when they got a communique from one of my roommates suggesting I be evicted and move home.

I kept on screaming (this time, AT them) when they suggested I move home, at which point I pointed out that their logic of "this way, we could watch out for you!" doesn't entirely work since they entirely ignored me for 10 years of suicidal threats and requests to see mental health practitioners. =P  They're not the sharpest tools in the shed, really... =P

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Hiya freesoul-

I have the irritable rage thing too. I threw the remote control through the  living room window the other day. Whatever. I think it's important to get some time for yourself. Time AWAY FROM THE KIDS. Those long walks don't do any good if you're dragging a whiney kid behind you. Do they go to school? Can you catch a half hour or so after they're in bed? Baths never work for me. Meditation is good. Hypnosis is great (self-hypnosis I mean). I hope one of your many appointments proves helpful. Millie

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This all reminds me why I'm not having kids until 35, EARLIEST.  That's about when my mother calmed down and the throwing-glassware-at-the-floor and waking the neighbors with screaming stopped for her.

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Heya freesoul,

Wow, kids and school ... and craziness all in one.

I have no suggestions since nothing has helped my rage but meds and sleep, and in fact I'm not sure about the meds themselves, it might be just the sleep they induce.

Talking to you guys on CB helps, my psychiatrist and my FP help.

I've been trying some of the CBT and pseudo-DBT  techniques/exercises in the Bipolar Disorder Survival Guide, and I think they were helping but it's been a few weeks off the wagon for me so I have to start all over again.

Maybe I'll sleep again tonight.

The rage sucks.  I think for me it's the worst part of mixed.

Try anything that sounds reasonable, and try to give yourself a break (yah right, like *I* can do that for me!) and realize you're doing some very good things, raising these kids and finishing school.

Hey -- I just realized.  My aunt is an MSW and does a lot of hypnosis.  SHe recommends those tapes to lots of people.  Huh.  For sure worth a try, I never thought of that.

--ncc--

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When i feel that way, i break out the meditation or the hypnosis CDs.

being a single mom must be so hard. give yourself a break. you're crazy, and doing something that gives even "normal" people mental issues.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Never heard of hypnosis CD's but will check it out, thanks. Sounds a bit stronger than meditation, which I often tried but can't seem to concentrate...

Yeah...I do, you know, realize that single motherhood is pretty much the worst situation for a loony BP, especially with no extended family and not enough money.

Did I mention I'm also in fourth year university?

Arrrg, woe is me...

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Woe is you alright. That kind of pressure would make anyone crazy.

I am trying to get a handle on rage/irritability issues also.

I started seeing a psychologist a couple of months ago and noticed immediate results, had more control right away.

When I get PMS it all goes out the window, though.

But I would try the counseling if you can find the time.

Exercise helps, too. <3

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Experimented a lot with son with paranoid sz. who used to rage rage rage.  Still does occasionally (but since we cut out the Adderal it helped a TON).

Anyhow we DID find Klonopin effective, but the problem is the time to kick in. If you can anticipate (haha)  we found the dose could be much lower. 

Don't know what you're already taking, but classic for intermittant explosive rage  syndrome, is valproate. 

Also useful is supposed to be Tomapax and beta blockers. 

As for me, I  found Paxil to help me keep my cool through the many storms at my house (to which I became if possible, hyperreactice).  Trouble is the side effects were too much.    Nooootttthhhing bothered me - like an emotional general anesthesia. House could have burned down around us, and I would have been completely casual.

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  • 1 year later...

Okay, I realize this is an old post...but I couldn't help but reply because what everyone is describing is EXACTLY what I have lived with for nearly my entire life. I go through periods of constant irritability/everything sucks where I get frustrated easily. I do the screaming and crying fits. I throw and break things. Road rage is standard ($5,000-worth of citations prove this...lol). My pdoc thinks my "anger issues" are due to anxiety, so we've tried treating with Klonopin. It helped quite a bit with the anxiety irritability I felt in very late pregnancy (very low dose, btw), but now it does NOTHING for this feeling. Two weeks ago, I was so down that I was almost past the point of caring and was planning to commit suicide. Then I snapped out of it and the irritable raging impatient thing is emerging. My pdoc doesn't think I'm BP because I've not had a manic or hypomanic episode. After reading this thread, I am even more suspicious about my unipolar depression Dx. Do just depressed people act out like this?

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Okay. I am involved in a lot of self-blame and I firmly believe I'm the worst piece of crap for losing control when in reality I wish I was as calm as a budhist monk and as cheery as Mary Poppins. Not a happy place. Oh, I know I shouldn't so no use telling me that. I still feel that way.

But maybe (dare I hope?) there is a solution.

I have my ups and downs (hehehe), but irritablity/crankiness/rage/screaming fits/bitchiness etc etc is a major, major problem for me. Why? cuz I have two innocent kids who don't deserve to be yelled at over the proverbial spilled milk. And cuz, it's a symptom I get whether I am up OR down...I don't get "nice" mania, and I get a lot of mixed states.

Doc and I are still working in getting all the symptoms under control, but I'm very med-sensitive and we haven't found a "sweet spot" I can tolerate yet. It may take years for what I know. So I need a way to deal with this now.

So, how do others BPs get those rages under control?

Things I have tried:

-I shut myself up in my room (aka time out). This is my first line of defense, and it works fairly well. Except that eventually you have to come out to make dinner, send them to school, etc etc etc. Incidentaly, that is when they tend to be in the way or slow or whatever, making it even more likely I will snap. And I am single, so getting Daddy to help is not an option.

-Tried the long baths (no help), long walks (they hate me for it, because they have to come along).

-I even tried taking clonazepam (which is prescribed prn), thinking it will mellow me out. And maybe it would if I took 2 or 3 mg; I would also fall asleep. At the prescribed dose (.5 to 1 mg), it does not help.

So, suggestions? Meds, techniques, anything??? HELP!

I'm much like you in my experience of mixed states and "dysphoric mania". It just takes a lot of AP's and benzos for anxiety to knock me down some and ameliorate the days of insomnia which make things worse and then I just have to ride it. Staying away from alcohol has helped a lot too. Sometimes it's difficult to tell when I'm actually through it. The euphoria of mania and hypomania that I experienced into my 20's seems to be long gone and I'm now left with anxiety, rage,aggression and violence toward people I don't know (in traffic usually). Wish I could help more but finding better drugs has made the most difference to me.

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