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I feel that everyone drops me and that I'm a big reject. People always befriend me but then lose interest in me.  Same with guys who want to date me.  I feel like there's something outward about me that is appealing to others, but then when they get to know me they don't like me anymore...and run the other way!  This is making me feel really paranoid.  I mean, am I really that terrible?  I like to think that I am a nice person who has things to offer, but sometimes I just have to wonder if that's how others see me.

Also, when I get depressed, my thinking gets really fuzzy and slow.  Does this happen to anyone else?  I think it's called cognitive blunting.  It's just like I can't think very clearly or easily.  Today at work, when the depression was coming on very strong, it actually took me a few seconds to remember my phone number!  So on top of feeling very sad and lonely I'm turning stupid too.  Yippee.

I've got a lot of changes coming up in my life (moving, starting grad school, etc.) and I have a lot to do but none of the energy to do it with.  It's really scary.  What if I can't do it?

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I also have problems with losing people I thought I had made a connection with.  More than once, I have talked and laughed with someone, and they have seem genuinely interested in me, but then they cut me off.  I try to convince myself that it's about them, not me.  That rarely works.  I keep wondering what I did wrong, but I can never figure it out.

I keep reaching despite my failures.  It always hurts when a person I hoped would be a friend rejects me, but I keep trying because I know I'll have no chance at all to connect if I never reach out.

It becomes very difficult for me to think when I'm depressed.  It feels like my mind turns to mud, and I have a very hard time doing anything that requires thought.  I think it's a common symptom of depression.  You're not becoming stupid, you're just going through a rough time.

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