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Guest AdamAZ

I'm bipolar and a recovering coke addict. I was wondering if anyone else out here has gone through the same thing. I quit myself about a week ago after using roughly 2 grams a day for the past 6 months. It hasn't been a horrible withdrawl but I do get some very strong cravings. I was wondering how long this will last. I'm afraid to talk to my pdoc about it because he'll want me to go to rehab, which I've been through a couple of times...don't want to go back. If any of you have any advice or tips to make this easier I would greatly appreciate it. Thanks

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Hi there

I used for about a year...I was a binger. I didn't use everyday but instead once a week or every ten days (sometimes longer) I would do an eigthball+ in one night...injected, that's tons. it was crazy...I would shot up till my arms were so bruised and bleeding you would think I was at it for months, and until I was literaly catatonic. It would take a long time for the tracks to heal up, sometimes by that time I would be at it again...wearing long arms shirts to hide them in the middle of summer. Coke is crazy.

For the BP it turned out to be a very bad idea...it threw me into extreme rapid cycling that took a couple years to improve even sligthly. That is also how long it took for the cravings to go away...about two years. But they become progressibly weaker. The worse part was over in about three months; it may be less for you since you didn't use as long.

There's not much you can do, imo. I used to cry sometimes I wanted it so much...but I would take a ride to the Downtown Eastside (a vey bad neighborhood in Vancouver B.C.) and look at the walking dead and imagine myself like that and I knew it was possible, and I didn't want that.

I often smoked loads of pot, not the best thing maybe but it does calm you down in the very beggining...I'm not saying replace an addiction with another, but someting to help get through can help, whatever it is...just temporarily. Something less damaging.

I moved to another city to change my environment...many people who are tryiing to quit have done this, or gone for a trip somewhere for a while. Even a new place to live can help, as it breaks many associations that can act as triggers.

Try to find something that distracts you. A new hobby that you've always wanted, a new part-time job, volunteering a lot...

I've also found praying helpful during times of strong cravings...helps me find strength and calm. Try it if you're so inclined.

Imo, rehab does not work for most people, because it puts you in a kind of "drug culture" where the fact that you are quitting takes over your life (instead of distraction, you focus intensely on it) and because of the "it's okay to relapse this is soooo difficult" mentality. I mean, it's hard, but thousands have done it and it is doable. And no rehab can give you determination, which is mainly what you need.

Most people I know who have quit, including self, have done it on their own.

You can do it too.

Love,

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I've never been a user, and I know you asked for people who have quit, but I wanted to pop in and voice my encouragement. I have no tips or tricks, and I haven't been where you are, so I won't bore you with platitudes. I'm just really glad you're making a healthier choice. I am honestly so very fond of people who try to improve their lives! Good luck to you!

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I had some friends who helped me get past it by keeping me drunk and pretty much beating the crap out of me every time I tried to leave the house for a couple weeks. I don't recomend it.  It was sort of a blur so I don't remeber how long it took.  I immage you'll be past the worst of it in a week or so.

I was a regular crack smoker for about three months.  Ten years later I still have cravings sometimes.

Can you go to a meeting? Even if you think the 12 steps are total bullshit the peer support element can help.

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Cocaine, the "non-addictive drug".

One of many...I don't crave it like I did 15 years ago, but I did a lot of work. Rehab, 12 steps, talking about it.

I want to get wasted on a daily basis. I have the gene. It doesn't mean I have to.

The best breakthrough for me was when I stopped romantisizing (sp) the high. Instead of thinking about how much fun it would be, I would think about how it felt to be in hand cuffs in my own front yard at 3:00 a.m. When I want to get high I think about the END of a binge. And all the catastrophic shit that has occurred since the START.

Just say NO! <says in best Nancy Reagan voice>

Take responsibility, powerlessness is bullshit unless you're actively using. If I don't use, I can do whatever the fuck I want. I'm not powerless at all. I'm EMPOWERED.

I still sit on my ass a lot and think about being numb, but it's a choice to do that and a choice to follow the path to it's logical disasterous conclusion.

THINK.

S9

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Guest AdamAZ

Thanks for your replies. I feel better just getting it out there. I've been hiding my addictions from family/friends. No real people to confide in with my problems around here that won't judge me or turn their backs on me for going back to using drugs. Today, at this moment, I feel like I can stay clean. These moments come and go, and hopefully as time passes the good moments will become all the time. One thing strikes me as odd though, it's not as hard to quit this as it was xanax, when I was using 6-8mg a day. Withdrawl from that was hell, but I was on it for a couple of years and quit cold turkey. I guess if I can do that I can do this. Well, here's to a positive day and hopefully another one tomorrow. Thanks guys.

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Today, at this moment, I feel like I can stay clean. These moments come and go, and hopefully as time passes the good moments will become all the time.
You almost have the secret handshake to staying clean...but it's weird because you will always get urges and cravings even 20 years later. But without the emotional charge, it's just another thought passing.

But the true bottom line you already have. This moment. And that's the only one in the infinite universe that matters.

KNOW that it will get rough, you will be tempted and vulnerable and have a contingency plan.

I liked VE's post because apparently his friends came up with HIS contingency plan. Mental Health came up with mine, I was shipped to Rehab stat. And when I got there and heard I couldn't smoke weed anymore? I thought, you gotta be fucking kidding me!

But I never shot dope again. Not that it's a big deal, I just used different methods of administration for the rest of my partying days. We are the fiendish of the fiends.

Good luck!

S9

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  • 1 month later...

For me what got me to quit was finding out I was pregnant (6 1/2 hrs ago.) I never did it again after that. However I continued to get cravings for it all the way up until I started wellbutrin 1 yr ago. Wellbutrin killed my cravings for everything bad that I used to do including mass amounts of pain killers and alcohol.

So weird for me now,..I used to be able and wanting 20-30 pills, a 12 pack,..and a gram coke a day,.. Now I can't even handle caffiene in a mt dew. WEllbutrin really has been a life saver for me.

I was able to quit w/out it,..but had strong urges until I started W. I don't even drink anymore and painkillers make me sick now. Most meds in general give me panic attacks,..so abusing them is no longer an issue. I couldn't fathom taking coke now,..bc like I said,..I can't even handle caffiene.

Good luck and hang in there,..I never thought life could be any fun w/out drinking or drugs. Now I can't imagine having to waste a day in a drug fog.

Every once in awhile I will get this strange voice in my head though,..like there is some part of me that doesn't know I don't use anymore. Like strange triggers such as going shopping in the mall,..

Pre quiting,..I would pop two painkiller about 10 mins before I would go shopping,..EVERY time. So sometimes I will hear that little voice saying, "better pop the pills now so the buzz will kick in right when you start shopping." It's not a craving,..it's just that some things were such a literal habit,..that even after 6 yrs,..still live in my memory.

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I'm bipolar and a recovering coke addict. I was wondering if anyone else out here has gone through the same thing. I quit myself about a week ago after using roughly 2 grams a day for the past 6 months. It hasn't been a horrible withdrawl but I do get some very strong cravings. I was wondering how long this will last. I'm afraid to talk to my pdoc about it because he'll want me to go to rehab, which I've been through a couple of times...don't want to go back. If any of you have any advice or tips to make this easier I would greatly appreciate it. Thanks

hi, i think cocaine is a fairly common substance of abuse for BP people. personally i have comorbid anxiety with my BP so i never got too into it since it makes me really anxious, but when i did use coke, i noticed i would be hypomanic for a few days after doing it (i mean after the few hours of crashing, which always sucks ;) ). some people with BP start using coke because they like the mania (personally i liked the hypomania more than the actual immediate effects of the drug!), but as you probably know it eventually becomes very dysphoric or you become depressed.

there is some fairly recent evidence for provigil (modafinil) being successful for helping cocaine withdrawal and controlling cravings, but of course you would have to tell your doctor or find a specialist to get a prescription. modafinil is a schedule IV controlled substance but its not nearly as likely to cause dependence as ritalin or amphetamine, and generally has low side effects (headache, nausea). i found it to be really helpful in general, when i was prescribed it for daytime sleepyness due to my other meds, and helps with focus.

a lot of other meds might be helpful too, such as all the antidepressants, particularly Wellbutrin - since its a reuptake inhibitor that helps Dopamine and Norepinephrine transport.. those two neurotransmitters can be depleted from your neurons after abusing cocaine. cocaine happens to be a reuptake inhibitor of these too, but it promotes release of neurotransmitters as well as inhibiting reuptake of them, which is why it is so dangerous. Wellbutrin also is thought by many doctors to be less likely to cause mania/hypomania in BP than many other antidepressants, although YMMV.

other than that i suggest some kind of support group, whether its something like cocaine anonymous or otherwise. im not into the 12 step thing but having some kind of face-to-face support group is always helpful. i hope u get through this, because cocaine and BP is a really bad combination - as well as the risk of seizures and heart attack from coke by itself! good luck

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wow i am surprised by the number of people here who have experience with cocaine (as compared to responses to most of the other threads.) i had a three month period in which i did cocaine essentially all day long (my sleep cycle was really mesed up; bf and i did coke continuously for a couple days then used my sleepng pills to pass out...not a good cycle.) once i broke up with him, i quit coke cold turkey and didn't have any problem with it; my supply was cut off, but i also didn't love the high (now given me some downers...it's a different story.)

anyway stuff that is actually relevant to you...when i am around people doing coke, i still get a psychological craving to do it, kind of like how ex-smokers always want a cigarette when they see or smell someone else smoking one....and it's been two years now. so you need to have a plan for that situation....if you can, stay away from the people you used with, the people you bought from, and anyone else who reminds you of cocaine, at least for awhile, so that the psychological cravings can be ameliorated before you actually have to face being offered coke again. it's good to get involved with a different social activity (sports team, church group, whatever) so that you aren't sitting home, alone and depressed, dreaming of coke. quitting cocaine is all about managing the psychological cravings. someone above said that he/she imagined all of the negatives of using....can also be a potent deterrent. good luck. xx

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Guest Guest

I'm bipolar and a recovering coke addict. I was wondering if anyone else out here has gone through the same thing. I quit myself about a week ago after using roughly 2 grams a day for the past 6 months. It hasn't been a horrible withdrawl but I do get some very strong cravings. I was wondering how long this will last. I'm afraid to talk to my pdoc about it because he'll want me to go to rehab, which I've been through a couple of times...don't want to go back. If any of you have any advice or tips to make this easier I would greatly appreciate it. Thanks

Try Wellbutrin, it really helps with cocaine cravings.

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Guest AdamAZ

Just an update from me if anybody out there is actually concerned or anything. I've still been clean and sober, except for 2 tiny relapses, so I'm working twords 2 months of being sober. The relapses were really tiny, and at a bar when I was drunk...I know not a good thing. But...I have managed to stay off the stuff without doing the 12 steps or anything. Klonopin and zyprexa help keep me calm and the cravings down. I'm also amazed at how much more money I have. If I sit back and think of all the $ I spent on nose powder it makes me kinda sick. Anyway, making progress here and hope everyone else out there is winning the fight in their own battles.

Thanks

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