Hoarding out of control

[sugarsugar]

Yes, apparently I am “that one” buying all that food and TP. I used to be able to tell myself I was basically a prepper, but now I’m just driven to get more stuff, beyond what I can afford or have space for. I have cases of toilet paper, canned goods, and huge quantities of beans, rice, and pasta, and other dry goods, including flour and yeast. I’m just one person and I already had way more than needed but that’s wise to a point. This has exceeded that point but I get this fear that this will continue for a long time and I’ll need supplies for myself and potentially my family—who would probably be desperate to rely on me to provide food, not realistic. I’m a little worried about some things I’ve ordered, because I rarely eat those things (sardines), and based on their availability they aren’t popular items. 
 

Anybody else driven to compulsively buy supplies now?  I’m apparently good at finding things in a shortage, at least random things, but I can’t stop. 
 

 

[Wonderful.Cheese]

On 3/26/2020 at 8:30 AM, sugarsugar said:

Yes, apparently I am “that one” buying all that food and TP. I used to be able to tell myself I was basically a prepper, but now I’m just driven to get more stuff, beyond what I can afford or have space for. I have cases of toilet paper, canned goods, and huge quantities of beans, rice, and pasta, and other dry goods, including flour and yeast. I’m just one person and I already had way more than needed but that’s wise to a point. This has exceeded that point but I get this fear that this will continue for a long time and I’ll need supplies for myself and potentially my family—who would probably be desperate to rely on me to provide food, not realistic. I’m a little worried about some things I’ve ordered, because I rarely eat those things (sardines), and based on their availability they aren’t popular items. 
 

Anybody else driven to compulsively buy supplies now?  I’m apparently good at finding things in a shortage, at least random things, but I can’t stop. 
 

 

I understand what you are going through. Having just spent an embarrassingly high amount of money at the grocery store and getting 2 more big packages of TP. I pressured husband into letting me buy a million things to stock up. I’m just so worried. And like you, I always had a good stock of what I needed before all this. But it’s gotten worse. I need to dial back a lot. I’m sorry you are going through this. It’s hard to know what is needed and what is panic buying. I completely get that. You aren’t alone.

[Gearhead]

...I have enough tampons to manage hemorrhaging continuously from now until next April. Accept no substitute. 

[Dagr]

..

Edited March 6, 2021 by Dagr
Leak

[Gearhead]

10 hours ago, Dagr said:

My big problem is buying vintage HP calculators on eBay...crazy.

You remind me of a friend who has a serious Casio watch issue...

[sugarsugar]

I know sardines are good for you and all but I have stocked up on more than I normally would eat in years. I’ve been told to donate to a food bank if I have extra but honestly nothing feels extra. I already was prepared. This confirmed my beliefs in that plan. But it’s gone too far now. Or not—I’m still working, but if I got laid off I’d be extremely grateful to have been stocking up/prepping/hoarding. 

[Dagr]

..

 

Edited March 6, 2021 by Dagr

[sugarsugar]

Dagr, you’re way more organized than I am. I don’t have a system but I was pretty fully prepared as to food and water plus some other items for emergency. But this is a different type emergency. It feels like food isn’t very available, also TP, and this could go on a long while—things that trigger my stocking up impulses. Meal planning only works to a point because I go off plan immediately. I should organize my supplies somehow. It’s disorganized now, at best. I’ve never been in a situation where I tried to buy groceries and many items are just sold out, so to compensate I’m getting tuna and you name it, I’ve got it. Plus I worry about getting laid off and losing income to buy needed items, so another reason to over prepare. 
 

Now, I do know there’s a difference in point of view. Some people think 1-2 weeks food is a huge supply and adequate. My mom has an extra couple cans of tuna, basically. Those people really consider me excessive anyway. Then there are degrees of preppers, and we should stay under the radar as to amounts we have, I believe. Then there’s compulsive stocking of sometimes random items, like I’m doing. Although I can probably justify most of it. 
 

Also I bought a few supplies in case I need to care for my very elderly mother. If she gets this, it’ll fall to me, so I did buy a few sick care items plus a couple cloth masks that will seem smart if I need them, excessive if I don’t. I know that if I need them it’ll take weeks to get them. Again, hoarder or prepper?  
 

For me, setting up my shelving units and unpacking items will probably come before any spreadsheets but I admire your system.   I’m sure now you’re glad you prepared. If I didn’t have cans of sardines stashed in my living room I’d be feeling better right now, too. 

[Dagr]

..

 

 

Edited March 6, 2021 by Dagr

[sugarsugar]

Your manic sounds much like mine only no spreadsheets or organization. I’m prepared for natural or other disasters and have things like cooking devices I’ve never used but could. Not everything but most categories. So when an actual event is occurring, you’d think I could settle in and enjoy my preps, rather than buy more. But that’s not what’s happening and  wondering if I can chill and stop buying soon. I hope so. 

[Wonderful.Cheese]

I just panic bought $80 worth of mostly hand soap and hand sanitizer and toilet paper. It’s being delivered. Sometime between today and Saturday. If they don’t start the order soon I’m canceling because they will sell out for sure by early afternoon of that stuff. 

[Wonderful.Cheese]

Omg I'm panicking. If they don't start my delivery order soon I won't get any hand sanitizer or hand soap. I bravely took the toilet paper off my order because husband would be pissed. I have not showered in days and I don't want to drive to the store myself.

What the hell kind of timeframe is today through Saturday?! Omg!

I'm going to take a PRN zyprexa now I think and try to distract with the jigsaw puzzle. I've been pacing the kitchen for nearly an hour. Yikes. 

Edited April 6, 2020 by Wonderful.Cheese

[Gearhead]

I don’t quite understand, Chee. Did you buy from some local shop? If you need the stuff, let the order stand. You have a place in line now. They’ll fill your order when they get to you.

[Wonderful.Cheese]

6 minutes ago, Gearhead said:

I don’t quite understand, Chee. Did you buy from some local shop? If you need the stuff, let the order stand. You have a place in line now. They’ll fill your order when they get to you.

Well it's a delivery service. So regular customers could shop and could snatch up what I want in my order before my delivery person gets around to shopping for my items. The person who "shops" for me and delivers is independent of the grocery store. They are their own company. So fees and tip was $12 ish alone. Kind of like those food delivery service people who go to restaurants and bring the food from restaurant to your house yet they don't work for the restaurant. 

[Cerberus]

Cheese -

It may help to try to shift from an anticipatory/anxious state of mind that says "I might not get the things" to a problem-solving state of mind that says "What can I do without those things?" If you feel yourself panicky, go ahead and think, "Okay, if the worst happened and he arrives at my door without hand sanitizer or hand soap:

1) Would I drop dead on the spot? (No.)

2) Would I be mortally wounded? (No.)

3) Would my life change forever? (Highly unlikely.)

4) Would I be inconvenienced? (Possibly.)

By the time you get to (4), you have begun to put the situation into proper perspective, and discover that it is a manageable problem because, in fact, it is simply an inconvenience. So, solve the problem - how do you get around the fact that you have no hand sanitizer or hand soap?

You find a bar of regular soap. That will do very nicely. Wash your hands thoroughly for at least 20 seconds. Lacking a bar of soap, two or three drops of your dishwashing liquid will suffice. The goal is sterilized hands, not having a specific sterilizing fluid. Once your hands are clean, you're good to go, just don't run around petting infected tigers - you could end up at No. (2).

[Antecedent]

Any kind of soap will work, shampoo as well, conditioner, body wash, shower gel, they might be marketing these things in all different ways but as far as the virus is concerned, soap is soap.

I would say, hoard on each trip, fine, but do not go to the supermarket unless you have less than 2 weeks supply of food left, because we should be going to the supermarket as little as possible, as few times as possible. as seldom as possible. People with cars should be able to go once a month, right? I don't know, I've never had a car.

They say to keep 2 weeks worth of food at home because if you get sick, if you even get a cold you aren't supposed to go to the supermarket for 2 weeks, just in case. And to keep some of the stuff you don't mind eating when you are sick.. rice... lemonade... chicken soup.. whatever specific stuff you know you can manage to eat when you have no appetite

Edited April 7, 2020 by Antecedent

[Wonderful.Cheese]

18 hours ago, Cerberus said:

Cheese -

It may help to try to shift from an anticipatory/anxious state of mind that says "I might not get the things" to a problem-solving state of mind that says "What can I do without those things?" If you feel yourself panicky, go ahead and think, "Okay, if the worst happened and he arrives at my door without hand sanitizer or hand soap:

1) Would I drop dead on the spot? (No.)

2) Would I be mortally wounded? (No.)

3) Would my life change forever? (Highly unlikely.)

4) Would I be inconvenienced? (Possibly.)

By the time you get to (4), you have begun to put the situation into proper perspective, and discover that it is a manageable problem because, in fact, it is simply an inconvenience. So, solve the problem - how do you get around the fact that you have no hand sanitizer or hand soap?

You find a bar of regular soap. That will do very nicely. Wash your hands thoroughly for at least 20 seconds. Lacking a bar of soap, two or three drops of your dishwashing liquid will suffice. The goal is sterilized hands, not having a specific sterilizing fluid. Once your hands are clean, you're good to go, just don't run around petting infected tigers - you could end up at No. (2).

Oh wonderful @Cerberus. Your wisdom and wit and good old common sense have calmed me down and I canceled my order that I overbought on.

I bought some dish soap that was much cheaper from a different store that says it can be used as hand soap as well. I bought just enough to get free shipping (not much $), so I didn’t over buy either.

I have enough for a while and I have hand sanitizer two little bottles that I’ll only use for emergencies I guess. I won’t drop dead, nor be mortally wounded, nor will my life change forever, I just might be a little inconvenienced/annoyed. And I’ll avoid tigers, for real! I promise!

[Wonderful.Cheese]

1 hour ago, Antecedent said:

Any kind of soap will work, shampoo as well, conditioner, body wash, shower gel, they might be marketing these things in all different ways but as far as the virus is concerned, soap is soap.

I would say, hoard on each trip, fine, but do not go to the supermarket unless you have less than 2 weeks supply of food left, because we should be going to the supermarket as little as possible, as few times as possible. as seldom as possible. People with cars should be able to go once a month, right? I don't know, I've never had a car.

They say to keep 2 weeks worth of food at home because if you get sick, if you even get a cold you aren't supposed to go to the supermarket for 2 weeks, just in case. And to keep some of the stuff you don't mind eating when you are sick.. rice... lemonade... chicken soup.. whatever specific stuff you know you can manage to eat when you have no appetite

Thanks A. You are so right and have calmed me too. I canceled my panic order.

I do online order pick up. So I order what I need online then we drive to the store at our time slot and then they bring the groceries out and load them in our vehicle. 

[Antecedent]

That's excellent, I wish we could do that! This is the first time in my life I've ever wanted a car.. well, maybe when i was a teenager

[Antecedent]

I read a news article saying that trash collectors are reporting a rise in food waste, people throwing out large quantities of unopened food... I know anxiety takes the reins sometimes, but as far as we can, let's hoard non-perishables only!!! People gave out bloody stink about toilet paper but none of that toilet paper will go to waste.

Edited April 8, 2020 by Antecedent

[Dagr]

I’m going to chime in and say freeze-dried food is excellent (from the correct manufacturer).  I recommend Mountain House. It’s good chow with a 30 year shelf-life.  Over the years I’ve found that Amazon has stocked and sold the best offerings...prices, food selections and storage friendly packaging. But I just ventured to their site and it looks like they have very limited selections most of which are being sold by third parties.  Nope, I cannot recommend Amazon right now. I do hope they get it back together eventually...it really was the best thing going.

Dagr

[Antecedent]

It's just all been bought up. Same here, I couldn't get lentils anywhere, looked on amazon, 10 euro for half a kilo! Because all the affordable stuff is sold out.

I'm worried Amazon will use all this as an excuse to treat their warehouse workers even worse. "Bathroom breaks!? There's a global recession!!!"

[Dagr]

Didn’t Amazon start out as an employer that took unusually good care of their staff?  It sounds awful now...makes me think of the major electronics assembly plants in China.  

Dagr
 

[Antecedent]

They treat their upper staff fantastic, I know people that work both in the middle and at the bottom and it's a whole different world. In the middle you get a great salary, flexitime, language classes paid for... at the bottom it's absolutely awful. I heard someone say that's just like warehouses are like, it's not, I know people that work in other warehouses and it's completely different, they are allowed to talk to each other and they are allowed to take breaks when they need to... but I still end up shopping with amazon sometimes because sometimes there's just no other option.. or the thing costs a third of the price!

Edited April 10, 2020 by Antecedent

[sugarsugar]

Dagr, our pantries must have similarities. I have those meals intended for emergency, other items for more immediate need like now. Especially since my fear is my job being eliminated as this drags on. So I stock up for financial insecurity. That’s legitimate, right?  It’s the cans of food parked in my living room that are problematic. Got to find space for them. Freeze dried is too expensive right now but I think that’ll settle out later. As in post-crisis. All the prices seem jacked up now, and even finding dog biscuits was a challenge, for some reason. I do seem to be getting my frantic buying to slow down, by necessity. 

[sugarsugar]

I will say I mostly hoard non-perishable items, but a couple things I do seem to buy and not get to—guilt over that. Lettuce mostly but not lots. I don’t think dry and canned goods are suspect. Unless you toss cans out. 

[sugarsugar]

How do I stop this?  I thought I was slowing down, but talking of getting furloughed and being required to cut my hours is just fueling the hoarding fire. I can definitely say I won’t starve any time this year, but seriously it’s ridiculous. Anyone manage to actually stop doing this?  

[Cerberus]

7 hours ago, sugarsugar said:

How do I stop this?  I thought I was slowing down, but talking of getting furloughed and being required to cut my hours is just fueling the hoarding fire. I can definitely say I won’t starve any time this year, but seriously it’s ridiculous. Anyone manage to actually stop doing this?  

sugarsugar - How many of your purchases are impulse buys? Are they usually extra things you pick up when you go to the store that you hadn't intended to pick up  but you see and you decide to get "just in case", or are they reactions to anxious thoughts that suddenly escalate into overwhelming alarm? In both cases, a big part of the problem is disordered thinking. It may be possible for you to build self-reflecting skills through techniques like cognitive-behavioral therapy so that you can de-escalate worrisome thoughts or anxieties that lead to unnecessary purchases. The help of a therapist is highly recommended. Although underlying depression and anxiety that may contribute to such behavior can be treated by medication, hoarding as a behavior cannot. In addition, treatment of OCD my medication has not been found to affect hoarding behavior.

From a practical perspective, you can't buy with money you don't have to spend. Is it possible to put some distance between yourself and your ready availability to your money? Perhaps entrust your cards or checkbook to a trusted friend or family member so that you need to go and get them in order to use them? That way, the person would be able to help you consider whether you actually need the think you are contemplating buying/hoarding, and provide a separate perspective. You might consider also not shopping alone, for the same reason, although in the current situation some stores will permit only a single adult from a household to shop at a time. What I'm sort of asking is, is there a way you can set yourself up a kind of filter between your thoughts and your money, so that you only end up spending what you need to spend on the things you actually need to buy?

Another thing you might consider doing if you have time on your hands is to take the supplies that you've been gathering and very deliberately begin dividing them up into quantities that would be needed in a single day, or a single week. That way, you will both see that you have ample supply for your needs, and also realize how much overage you have accumulated so you'll know you really, really don't need any more.

Bear in mind that dealing with a hoarding situation and coping with hoarding behavior over the long term are two different things. If this is something that also affected you before coronavirus came to call, you would probably benefit from professional assistance, because the behavior doesn't usually stop on its own.

On the other hand, if you've never been like this before and you're just reacting to the godawful mess that we're all in, take a deep breath (take several) and remind yourself that humanity has been dealing with wars, fires, famines and plagues for at least 50,000 years, and we're still here. We're going to survive this.

[sugarsugar]

Cerberus, honestly I would say this is usually manic type behavior for me. But this is exacerbated by the whole external crisis. Hard to say what role finance insecurity/anxiety plays in making it even worse. I don’t feel otherwise manic, so haven’t been in touch with my pdoc. I’m hoping I have this under control for now. Lord knows I have a ridiculous supply of a few items. I may have to step away from Amazon. Online buying is so very easy, which isn’t always good. Especially if you are inclined to this sort of buying. Thanks for your thoughts. 

[sugarsugar]

Wanted to update and say that after a med increase I was able to sort out 20 garbage bags of stuff and have it picked up. The food however—that’s next on the list of organizing, harder because it’s all staying.   I don’t seem to have fear of furloughs hanging over me now so that should help. I’m hoping. 

[sugarsugar]

OK, next plan:  my pdoc wants me to see a therapist for this issue. I said I would, so I hope that works out.