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AntiPyschotic/Antidepressant combo

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Hi folks,

Hope everyones coping the best they can..I too am struggling really bad..Anxiety is through the roof  causing lots of Depersonalization/Derealization..Probably the worst symptom i stuggle with when it comes to anxiety....Anyways...I posted a subject called Pharmacophobia..Its the fear of meds..In my case antipsychotics..I'm currently taking Mirtazapine 30mg and perscribed Aripiprazole 5mg...I've come to the conclusion i just cant see myself taking the abilify...I've just read too many horror stories about it...My main concerns with this med based on what i've read are.....

Increase in anxiety...I currently suffer pretty bad with anxiety so anything thats going to make it even worse..No Thanks

Impulse/Control issues....I've read multiple accounts across the net of people turning into Gamblers/Shoppers etc..I in the past and to a degree still do suffer with addictive behaviour...In the past this has included Alcoholism..I've also had issues around gambling and excessive shopping so in my view i'm vunerable to addiction so anything that can actually cause excessive urges/Cravings etc....Again...No thanks..

Activating/Stimulating....My depression tends to be more on the anxious/Aggitated side so i personally am suited to more sedating medications not stimulating ones..My mind is so active and races as it is so i dont want something that makes it worse..I've even read accounts of this drug causing mania...That scares me..Clomipramine many years ago gave me hypomania/Anxious symptoms and i didnt like it.

These tend to the the main side effects that worry me the most and yes untill i try it i wont know if i get them...I know this on a rational level..Sadly my brain is very "Irrational" when it comes to meds...I've basically talked myself out of taking it...Yes its a cop out i agree and i've gone through the whole range of emotions about it..Sad/Angry/Guilt etc Especially anger...I'm so angry with myself about this...Fear of taking something that might make me better...It dont get stranger than that !! 

Anyways..The Pdoc appointment is the 16th of april...Its a Telephone appointment due to whats going on..He Knows my fears about taking antipsychotics...All he can really do is offer reasurance..I'm going to ask about alternate meds...Quetiapine was mentioned right at  my first appointment but i had not had an ecg at the time.. He was ok with abilify whilst i waited for my appoinment for ECG as he says its got a good side effect profile..Hes a Good PDoc to be fair but i'm a new patient to him..The idea was to try abilify and if it didnt work look at other options as my ECG will have been done by then and i would have atleast tried the abilify ..Since then i've had a ECG which came back ok..Mild Takicardia apparently but cardiologist had put most likely due to anxiety on the notes..In the UK ECGs are sent electronically so they get a answer the same day.The Pdoc rung me to tell me the results..They dont normally but i was freaking out having the ECG thinking i had heart issues!!  He rung more out of reasurance...I get really bad health anxiety also....Anyways does anyone know of any good antipsychotic combos that compliment mirtazapine?? I really need something that is calming..Something that quiets my racing mind and also squashs the bizzare nature of my intrusive thoughts...(Mainly Paranoia) But also something that helps my depression...I've come to accept what a psyche told me years ago that i need antipyschotics...My rational is that when i take the Mirt at night that calms me somewhat and therefore feel more in control in taking a antipsychotic...Wether that works in practice i dont know but i'm slowly running out of options....Does anyone have any personal experience with Mirtazapine+ antipsychotics?? Or anyone who knows the accademic side of things know of any good combos for Mirtazapine?? I'm considering asking about Quetiapine but the weight gain gets me..I put loads of weight on with Mirt...I know antipsychotics all carry this risk..I'm willing to cut down on the Mirt if i can find a good combo because tbh i find it does very little apart from sedate me and make me hungry..I would really appreciate some feedback on this so i have options to ask the pdoc when he rings on the 16th...For anyone who takes abilify and has great results...I do wonder if it would work for me...Rationally i know it could help yet the fear of getting the side effects listed totally over rules any rationality i have..I really hoped i could of overcome it but sadly no....Anyways thanks for listening to this long Rant/post....I'm genuinly struggling with this and appreciate this space to offload...Thanks from the Uk...Jamie

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