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Besides being addicted to/controlled by Klonopin, I think I've developed an addiction to starving myself. I go all day without eating. For weeks. If I eat I feel so sick, I just lie there in pain. It feels good to me to not need food. To be free of food. I've lost 30lbs in under 2 months. I'm loving the way I look. It is a terrible addiction that could lead to an all-out eating disorder.

Is anyone else (except those on the ED board, where I've already posted) addicted to the behavior of not eating? Am I alone?

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I used to. (now I *just* occasionally miss lunches a couple of times a week.) For me its about showing how I feel emotionally deprived and that child inside me that lacked love and nurturing growing up. I *proved* I could survive.....just.....its kind of repetition compulsion thing.... *sigh*

But, yeah, its not good for you. And it sounds to me like you are already in ED territory....

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I looked up Anorexexia NOS and that's me. I'm *still* within *normal* weight for my height, 5'4 and 120 (or below, i'm not sure, i stopped weighing myself) and dropped 30lbs in 2 months. i don't eat and continue to drop weight. i still get my period and am not below my *normal* weight, but something isn't right. i can't seem to make myself eat. i'm deathly afraid i'll be fat. i like the praise i get for losing weight. i feel trapped in it. i don't need another disorder to complicate my life! i'm already bp1 and suspect add.

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maybe its part of the PTSD? the trying to control something? wanting praise and reassurance that you can achieve something, praise you missed out on as a child, maybe?

I know some of my ED NOS type things stem from emotional traumas around the meal table...

Why not just be NOS? ;)

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nestling,

I am a BIG NOS!!! My DXes are f'ed in the a. It could very well be the PTSD or agitation from BP. It is true that I want to be my best, I want to be praised. It is an addiction- like my physical addiction to Klonopin right now. I feel like a puppet.

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