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Seasonal zippy pattern


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I just noticed I have a seasonal zippy pattern. I NEVER KNEW THIS BEFORE. IT WAS NOT APPARENT TO ME. But I understand now! Springtime = zippy for me. Which is just zippy zipperoooooo!

I just bought 800 buttons to make more ear savers! 800 buttons! I feel like I can help those people (heroes) save the world from this pandemic! I feel so driven to mass produce these. I’m unstoppable. It’s unreal. I’ve heard it spoken to me through the universe. I can do this! I’m not sleeping as much by far nor eating much during the day at all.

I feel the special most supreme god juice in me. That’s what I feel. That’s what I’m here on this earth for. 

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Cheeese, you’re setting off a lot of alarm bells. The universe is speaking to you and you’re full of god juice. Both of these thoughts are bad signs for you. I’ve seen this before. Being aware that you have a pattern of spring manias is great-I’m proud of you for figuring it out. But knowing that it’s happening is not treating it or making it less dangerous. Manias end. The crash is worse the longer the mania has gone on. 

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Cheese. In your post above, you say, “I’m unstoppable!”

The only time you have ever made a statement of that kind on these boards is when you have been manic. You have made such a statement again now, therefore the obvious conclusion (for this and numerous other reasons) is that you are symptomatic of mania now.

Please acknowledge this to yourself and seek to treat the issue before it compounds itself into worse problems.

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Here’s what you wrote when I looked up your history using the word ”God Juice”. It’s always been a warning sign for you:

”I did not do my afternoon light box therapy as per my old pdoc's orders and as per my husband's orders I took a PRN med. 

All I ever do is what everyone says. I'm trapped, severely. I have no freedom. Why do other people who I dislike get to rule me, my life?

I mean before earlier in the afternoon I literally felt something like "God juice" pumping through my veins. It was pure energy pure high pure everything. Even some irritability. But mostly just high up up up wild feeling. 

Now I don't feel that quite as much. And I'm pissed off about it. Why do they get to say how I should be? 

My husband gets home in half an hour and I do not want to see him. I want a divorce. I'm done. 7 years.”

 

And then you crashed and regretted it all as you came down...

 

”I'm so sorry I haven't updated sooner. 

I'm so embarrassed by my words and thoughts. That is why I've stayed away. I can't believe I...ugh. 

I no longer want to divorce my husband. I no longer feel God juice. I sleep better. Spending has gone way down. Etc.

The come down was very hard this time. I was very very angry about it. Feelings of being controlled and trapped lingered. But that is fading bit by bit. My poor husband. I feel a lot of guilt.  

I have not used the light box as tempting as it is. I'm still on the wellbutrin. 

No call from my nurse yesterday as she promised. But to be fair there was bad weather yesterday so maybe the clinic closed early. I see my pdoc soon anyway. Oh well.”

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This sets off alarm bells for me too, and I'm with everyone else saying these are absolutely signs of mania. I hope you can talk to someone about doing a med adjustment soon. I also hope that this doesn't turn into something worse or come crashing down. You're in my thoughts.

 

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Guys, I’m ok. Don’t worry! Please don’t worry, I’m not bad off! 

I see pdoc tomorrow! Yippee skippy! I’m going to ask her to take over my nuvigil prescription and to maybe swap Abilify for Invega. Which works better for psychosis for me. Abilify is so close to rexulti it’s just unreal so omg i swear

anyway no on e is at the clinic to call anyway! I don’t nab e emails for anyone either,! So.....I see tdoc on Thursday and pdoc tomorrow. I don’t have much of anything to report I have been very busy busy busy.

I slept a little more today so that’s all good!

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On 4/21/2020 at 12:03 PM, Wonderful.Cheese said:

Guys, I’m ok. Don’t worry! Please don’t worry, I’m not bad off! 

I see pdoc tomorrow! Yippee skippy! I’m going to ask her to take over my nuvigil prescription and to maybe swap Abilify for Invega. Which works better for psychosis for me. Abilify is so close to rexulti it’s just unreal so omg i swear

anyway no on e is at the clinic to call anyway! I don’t nab e emails for anyone either,! So.....I see tdoc on Thursday and pdoc tomorrow. I don’t have much of anything to report I have been very busy busy busy.

I slept a little more today so that’s all good!

Good to hear you're getting some good sleep, and having appointments with the pdoc and tdoc!

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