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Hello from the Uk Folks,

 

I'm diagnosed with OCD/OCPD but i've always thought that these diagnosis only say so much about my overall symptoms..I dont want to go down the whole self diagnosis path but would appreciate some feedback from folks who have ADHD....

Ok so my mind is always busy...When i say busy i mean always busy..Constant chatter/Dialogue going on....(Not voices like psychosis) 

I find it very hard to focus on one task...My mind always wanders off..The only time i can focus to a degree is at work..I'm a bricklayer so at work i'm in a really fast paced enviroment so this gives me perfect distraction..Plus i enjoy my job..But as a rule i cant focus on one thing..I'll have FB open Youtube on the Go and the TV going on all at once whilst i'll be researching things online and going back n forth between all of it...

In the Morning is the worst..My mind is so active in the morning to the point of racing...This morning for example i woke early which has become kind of normal now and my mind will flutter between different topics with internal background chatter going on and there is always been a song in my head when i wake up..This has gone on for aslong as i can remember..I've tried to focus on my breathing as a way to relax when my head is like this but will last literally seconds and before i know my mind is going off into different directions..Its like its been pulled in different directions by pointless brain chatter...I hope i'm making sense here as its quite hard to describe....

Now i've been told off various Professionals that i dont have Bipolar Disorder...My Diagnosis has always been Mixed Depression/Anxiety......I've never had any discussion as to possible ADHD neither...Dont get me wrong Anxiety plays a HUGE part of my mental health issues but i cant accept that all the activity in my brain can ALL be placed under Anxiety...That to me seems like a convenient umberella to sweep all my issues under...

I dont want to go too far down the rabbit hole with this and dont like to self diagnose but have wondered if its worth bringing it up with the Pdoc..

Does anyone relate to what i'm saying here?? Does it sound more like anxiety than anything else..Even the morning hyperactivity??

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I was told by various medical professionals that my adhd-like symptoms were related to depression and anxiety. Medication and therapy for those issues seemed to manage all symptoms for many years, and I even stopped seeing my therapist. Several years later, my job duties changed and I was really struggling with focus and keeping up. Started seeing a new therapist, and about our 2nd or 3rd session in, she asked if I had ever been tested for adhd, because the issues I brought up were classic signs. So I went through a long series of tests, and was officially diagnosed with adhd a few years ago. Am now on Adderall, which is helping so much.

Since then I've read up on adhd, especially as it relates to girls and women (which I am). I've learned that often, the symptoms of depression and anxiety come from the adhd. The adhd basically comes first, but isn't always diagnosed or recognized in girls. I was struggling so hard to maintain focus and handle all the various THINGS that non-adhd people seem to handle without thinking (like remembering who I told what to, and keeping house, and remembering to eat, and etc. etc.) that every time I failed at it, it just made me more depressed and anxious.

So for me, adhd -> depression -> anxiety. One was a result of the other.

Not saying that's your circumstances, of course. But I don't think there is anything at all wrong with bringing it up with the Pdoc. Just be aware, if you don't fit the stereotypical profile of someone with adhd (young male who can't sit still), you may not be taken seriously. For me (and apparently for many women, I've learned) the "h" often stands for "hyperfocus", rather than "hyperactive". I can get lost in a task (like reading the Internet), and not even notice the house burning down around me. But I've never been described as hyperactive.

Good luck!

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@pmd Can you relate to a lot of what i'm saying?

For me its first thing in the morning thats the worst..My mind is like a hyperactive mine field..It really is...Its what i call brain chatter...That running commentary of thoughts in the mind...Plus i always have a song playing in my head...It feels like my brain stores all this pointless energy of thoughts and ideas whilst i'm asleep then decides to just offload it onto me the minute my eyes open lol

I've been told that i dont have Bipolar..One Psychiatrist on meeting me the first time thought i did because of how fast i was talking...That was later ruled anxiety..I sometimes feel that once you have a diagnosis then every last symptom you bring up just gets brushed under what ever diagnosis you have..I feel  that Anxiety whilst it does explain a LOT of my symptoms it dont explain everything..Mind you i can read into stuff a bit too much like a lot of people with Obsessive/Complusive traits..

Yeah i can have multiple things on the go at once....I will be listening to something on youtube whilst having the TV on the background and at the same time reading up things on the net..Its a very chaotic way of living mentally..

I find with reading i'm rushing it like its a task to be done rather than something to enjoy which can take some pleasure out of it if that makes sense?? It can feel like if i'm solely just reading then i could be missing out on something that might of just been uploaded to youtube..Or missing out on something on FBook so it makes it quite hard to focus on doing just one thing....Its the same with films..I find it hard to sit and just watch a film as my mind just wanders and wants to be doing other things...So i rather opt to have all things happening at once..

I find things hard to explain sometimes and feel that i dont always convey what i'm trying to say online that good so if it comes across a bit muddled up here and there apologies for that..(I can be my own worst critic)

Thanks for the feedback i appreciate it..

Edited by GrannyG81
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I have ADHD and I was on medication for it for a long time which got me through college. I am not medicated now and it’s been so long I don’t remember what it was like on meds except that they flattened me a lot and limited my ability to feel emotions. I’m a very intense person and they sort of dulled that but they did allow me to focus on coursework.

Normally now I guess I do hop from topic to topic in my head but I do have the ability to hyperfocus and concentrate intensely as long as it’s on something I am passionate about. I can’t focus or concentrate on something if it’s something I don’t feel drawn to strongly. I procrastinate really well too. I can spend hours on Wikipedia just reading random articles when I’m supposed to be doing other things. The moment I sit down to do something like read the DMV manual for example (I’m attempting to learn to drive), I suddenly fidget, can’t sit still, my mind wanders off to other places, and I can’t focus on what I’m reading and lose track of what I just read. And instructions... I can’t follow instructions to save my life. I always skip a step or read things incorrectly. The three things that teachers used to write on my report cards growing up were “needs to pay attention”, “needs to work on organization”, and “needs to follow instructions”. 

I also find it hard to focus on conversations. My mind wanders easily and I can just sort of stop listening and then the other person finishes talking and waits for my response and I don’t know what to say because I basically stopped listening to them mid-sentence. I try really hard to be present in conversations because I know it must come off as rude. 

As far as emotions and anxiety related to ADHD, I can tell more the difference between the schizoaffective emotional elements and the ADHD ones because I’m not medicated for ADHD but I’m currently in complete remission from schizoaffective. The ADHD causes me to get overwhelmed very easily, especially if there’s a lot to read or I have to try and follow instructions for something (like a recipe). I feel flustered and worked up over little things that just seem like mountains to me. If I lose something, it distresses me to the point I can’t focus on anything but finding the lost object and will waste a whole day tearing apart the house for it because I can’t deal with anything until I find it. Unfortunately for me I lose track of things like my keys, wallet, headphones etc... all the time.

ADHD makes me moody and anxious and fidgety, but I find the symptoms much less intense and easier to cope with than the schizoaffective symptoms. 

I’ve learned to live with ADHD because I can’t take medication for it anymore. It makes me psychotic, so I just have to deal with symptoms as best I can. To tell the truth, even if I could take medication for it, I’d opt not to take it because I prefer to be excitable and I can feel happiness more fully. I suppose if I went back to school, that’s the only reason I’d take meds again. 

 

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@saintalto What bothers me the most is the mornings....

I've often said to Pdocs/Normal Drs that i've probably had more internal conversations with myself after waking up than what most people probably have in a day...Its quite exhausting and i find it hard to accept that this is all a result of anxiety...But maybe it is and i'm looking for something that doesn't exist?? I dont like self diagnosing myself but i've often thought that when that Pdoc sees you He/She only sees you on that given day...They dont see you any other time and its that other time were symptoms could show up but by the time the Next Pdoc appointment comes round you could of forgot about them or just thought they are irrelevant??

I think what i need to start doing is writing down when i have bad days and especially what thoughts/Feelings i have on those bad days so atleast when i see the Pdoc i can remember and pin point back rather than  forgetting..I'm gonna get the app on my phone also were it tracks your mood as i feel that it would be better to show the pdoc my mood history and patterns rather than me trying to explain my moods in general...

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I don’t have any internal conversations with myself. I daydream a lot but I don’t know if that’s ADHD. I was diagnosed ADHD when I got into college because I couldn’t sit through long exams and finish them, I couldn’t focus on the homework long enough to finish anything, and I fell asleep or daydreamed through every lecture and couldn’t absorb anything that was said. I breezed through high school, but high school doesn’t have multi-hour exams, the amount of homework I got was much less, and classes were never more than an hour and were very interactive, not just someone talking at me. ADHD was my first diagnosis and I only went to a doctor for it because I was about to flunk out of college despite having been competent at school in the past. I didn’t know a thing about ADHD before I was diagnosed. I just thought I was lazy, disorganised, and in college I believed I was flunking because I was stupid. 

I think ADHD is a condition doctors particularly don’t like you self diagnosing with. Be warned. I’ve heard it’s not easy to get diagnosed as an adult. I was 18 when I was diagnosed. What you describe to me I don’t particularly identify with, to be honest. 

    

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On 4/20/2020 at 8:08 AM, GrannyG81 said:

I dont want to go too far down the rabbit hole with this and dont like to self diagnose but have wondered if its worth bringing it up with the Pdoc..

Yes, I think it's worth bringing up with pdoc.......IMO, you probably need an evaluation and testing by a neuropsychologist...You could mention to pdoc, and maybe pdoc could refer you to a neuropsych for all the tests....It is pretty extensive testing, takes a few hours (when I had it done).

The neuropsych can then give an opinion to your pdoc as to whether you have ADHD or not....Then, it's up to your pdoc as to what to do.

Just my 2 cents.

Edited by CrazyRedhead
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39 minutes ago, CrazyRedhead said:

Yes, I think it's worth bringing up with pdoc.......IMO, you probably need an evaluation and testing by a neuropsychologist...You could mention to pdoc, and maybe pdoc could refer you to a neuropsych for all the tests....It is pretty extensive testing, takes a few hours (when I had it done).

Hes due to ring me Next week the 27th...I actually got the dates wrong and thought it was the 16th last week so depending on how long the call is i might bring it up...Medication is my main priority of the call..

I just find and i dont know if you agree that when you get diagnosed with anxiety/ocd related issues then everything you bring up seems to get tarred with the diagnosis.. when i've brought things up OCD tends to get the blame for pretty much everything...

It dont help when i read through my notes and see things like "Evidence of acute Psychotic features" "Ideas of reference" and other stuff like that...It gets my mind going and yes its totally possible i could be reading too much into things i just think at times theres more going on...The lockdown dont help were i get to spend a lot more time thinking about stuff.

.When i'm at work i dont tend to think into it too much...And when i have i'm not usually to bothered by wanting to follow it up..

I also remember a psychiatrist because of my non complience with medication suggested going on the depot injection..Which got me thinking when did they give those out for OCD/Anxiety?? 

I know OCD has an insight factor from good insight to even Delusional so perhaps when i'm "Ill" I fall somewere on the poorer insight..My Thoughts do tend to get paranoid when i'm slipping and they do have a bizzare/Delusional theme to them..I just dont 100% believe them so i've always thought thats the reason for antipsychotic medication recomendations...

Perhaps its just a case of yes OCD is whats fueling my symptoms and maybe Its a much more highly complex illness than i give it credit?? I think it could be common for obsessives in general to look to much into things..Anyways thanks for allowing me a platform to vent...Sometimes just having a place to air my thoughts however jumbled they are helps..I've tended to avoid a lot of forums in the past but i do like it in here..

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